If you have you'll understand what I'm going through and trust me it hurts like hell. I don't see how its fair, people cant control what i do and people cant control who I'm allowed to be with but they still do.
Everywhere i go and what ever i do, i feel like I'm being judged, everything i say is listened too and taken into consideration, so one slight slip of the tongue can get me into a whole heap of trouble which also hurts like hell.
Getting close to someone and then being told you cant be with them also hurts like hell. Falling in love is an amazing feeling and when you realise its happened sometimes its too late, and for me its too late, I've fallen in love but knowing that i cant be with that person kills me everyday. He's the first thing i think about when i wake up and the last thing i think about before i go to bed. I can imagine what life would be like without him. it would be pointless, my friends might as well talk to a wall. But this is what I'm faced with him everyday, loosing him and living without him and its slowly draining me. at the end I'll be stronger but at the thought or mention of loosing him my eyes start to well up.
He made a mistake and he knows he did, and I've taken him to hell and back over it now, and every fight more i feel worse, because he must feel regret and lots of other emotions over what he did but yet i still feel like i need some of the blame for not being there.
I don't think its fair that other people who don't know what your going through can judge you, and decided who you should be with in life. Only you know how you feel so other people cant tell you who to fall in love with, they can influence your decision but they cant change anything, that's up to you. People need to take matters into their own hands instead of off loading their problems onto everyone else, so that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to sort this out and hopefully some good will come out at the end.
There is hope.
There will be light...
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