I spent the day in London yesterday with my family. I've been once, now twice so it was all fairly new to me. the sights we saw were beautiful.. its quite rare that we spend time together as a family so it was an eye opener for me. i got to catch a glimpse at the real personality of each member of my family. My mum, she's not always that bitchy blonde everyone thinks she is, she does actually care and she has no idea how to read a tube map. My soon to be step dad, he isn't always obsessing over his bikes, he does actually love and care for his family very much. My soon to be step brother doesn't always spend his time studying, he is actually one of the funniest people i have ever met. My brother, he may be spoilt and annoying but he means well, he really does. My soon to be step sister doesn't always get angry and storm off, she actually tries very hard to control herself. yes, she may have her head in her phone all day but that doesn't stop us having a laugh.
Me. there was a moment. we were gathered around the clock in London, it was nearing 6'oclock. it was dark and we were on a bridge. the clock chimed and sang a song and lights flickered on across London and at that very precise moment i realised how big the world is and how insignificant i actually am. There's only one of me and millions and billions of others all living on the same planet. its amazing, we all think that the arguments we have with our friends are the end of the world, but its not. There's millions of more people out there arguing and thinking the same. We need to realise that we're not the only people on this earth. we all differ whether it be hair colour, eye colour, skin colour, ability etc.. no one is the same as the person sat next to them on that tiny tube train which takes you round the tiny city... practically a spec on the world map.
Everyone wants love, that one special person they can relate to and be with for the rest of their life. Everyone wants that person who will hold you in their arms and tell you they love you even when your hair is sticking up at odd angles and your face is a mess. Some people claim to have found this person, others haven't. i could write blogs and blogs on my feelings and who i love, but i'm not going too.
If you were to see me in the street; stop me and ask me if i've found the person i want to be with for the rest of my life.. my answer, probably no. the truth is i'm not going to lie and tell the person i'm with that i'm going to stay with him forever. do i want too?? totally different question. i love my boyfriend, i do but i doubt i'll be with him forever and ever. people promise not to leave, but people always leave, hearts always get broken. so is there any point in even getting comfortable and settling down when you can guarantee your heart will be broken at the end?? it almost seems pointless, going through all this love just for it to end in pain, it really does. but love, when you find it, it makes you happy.
if you find yourself with that person on your mind when you wake up in the morning, when you catch yourself reading the texts they send you over and over, when you catch yourself grinning at something they've said weeks after they've said it, when you can barely concentrate on what your doing any more, when you sign letters with their name, when you start to imagine what life would be like with them forever....... your in love...
when you find someone like this go for it, but hearts get broken, nothing is quite as it seems. loves pointless, you end up crying, but its fun at the time and it makes you feel like you.
i think i might be in love............. x
Don't ever stay in a field, in the pouring rain, in a tent. don't do it. don't leave your shoes outside the tent either. not good.
That's what i was doing last night, but i suppose i was wrapped up in the boyfriends arms so that's all good. but anyway, if you do decide to do this crazy thing and camp out make sure you have good company and warm socks. and try and sleep the night before...
3rd night without sleep isn't good, trust me. I'm in the worst mood imaginable so every teeny tiny little thing annoys the hell outta me.. so when your friends go off and leave you out its not good. so I'm stuck at home writing all this crap when everyone else is off having a 'rave' without me. cheers guys...
ohh, whats that an argument with the other half brewing, awesome.
so anyway I'm in such a bad mood i cant even be bothered to write anymore,
byeee x x
So, what were you doing at half 1 this morning?? asleep i can probably guess. Me, i was chatting to the boy who likes me or liked me... its very confusing, one minute he does, the next he doesn't. jeez!! boys drive me insane... eeurrrghhh..
I have some advice to you and i advise you take it because that's what advice is-
so last night, i tell this freakishly annoying boy how i feel whilst he's snogging some other girl, weird right.. but anyway, i tell him straight and it turns out, it actually helped. something i did helped. i know, i was shocked too... but my advice to you, always tell people how you feel because you have nothing to loose, they can take it either of 2 ways, act on it or pretend like you don't exist. if they pretend like you don't exist you can just laugh about how pathetic he turned out to be but he might act on it and you might be the happiest girl alive!! so live everyday like its your last and never be afraid to be yourself..
so there you go, my advice for today, take it!! x
<3
So, hey guys...
I'm not very good at writing about my feelings, but i don't care if anyone reads it, its probably better if no one does thinking about it because I'm gunna bitch and tell it like it is, here goes..
So, I'm 14, single and hating life, but come on, find someone who is actually happy, go on.. exactly. no-one..
I have some of the best friends a girl could ever want, mixture of boys and girls and they make me me. they get into fights, cover for me, they mean the world to me. sometimes they annoy the hell out of me but every ones friends do. if i didn't have my friends i wouldn't be the same person. i think having best friends is a bit wrong really, might as well be close to all of them instead of having favourites but if i could pick, my sister. she means EVERYTHING to me, i couldn't live without her, i really couldn't. just a look and she knows what i mean or what I'm thinking about it its magical... we laugh, cry, bitch, do everything together and as soppy as it sounds i miss her when i don't see her :( i suppose it would annoy some people living with their best friend but nope i love every minute of it. we've been so close, she knows all my secrets and i know hers and if ever she needs me i will always be here for her, you know who you are, love you <3
Boys. where do i start, who needs em?? truth is, every girl. we wouldn't be here without them we really wouldn't. yeah, they annoy the hell out of us but that's not their fault. we're the ones, yes us girls, who take everything they say to heart and over exaggerate everything they say. They mean well, yeah even the knobs. Believe it or not there are some decent guys out there, i know a few, dated a few but i always push them away, or do i??? girls jump to conclusions so i probably don't. so here i go ranting about boys, but when was my last relationship?? truth is, was today. got dumped. i should be sad but I'm not. i hate that about girls, they sit there and cry and mope about how bad their life is when truth is its probably fine, just because they don't have a guy on their arm but when they do they probably spend the time arguing with him anyway, you never know how good the thing was until you loose it. so yeah i lost a guy today. do i miss him?? yes, more than i thought i would. do i want him back?? yes, more than i thought i would and do you know what, I'm not afraid to tell him or wait in the wings and pick up the pieces of his broken heart when he gets hurt, that's what I'm going to do and if he doesn't know it, I'll prove it.
fewwww, that took a lot to get that out, so I'm gunna go, stop boring you with all the rubbish,
innabit xx
ohhh... and cheat on him and so help me god :) ta
